Set backs

So after I posted yesterday I went on a binge.
6 pieces of toast with garlic butter spread
1 chocolate bar
10 marshmellows
6 mini samosas with sweet chili sauce
2 apples
14 strawberries
and 2 slices of chocolate cake with whipped cream
I am so disgusting! I make myself sick with hate, the worst thing is that no one knows anything is wrong with me. That there is a disease in my head that refuses to leave and that i can't get rid of it myself, I need help. I need someone to notice that I am not OK, and that when i say "I'm fine" I'm really not, or when I refuse your leftovers it isn't because I don't want it, it's because if I do then the voices will yell at me and call me names.
I'm breaking down and falling apart and no one is here to put me back together again.

Switzerland, diets and christmas

I've managed to drop 5kg in the past 3 weeks! I'm stoked.

my friend and her family went on this diet where they cut out all dairy and fats as they are going to Switzerland and don't want to be fat when they return. i said I would do it too so that it would be easier for my friend, little does she know that I really just want to lose 20kg before Christmas.

Speaking of which i am NOT looking forward too. Every year my family and i go up to see family, and my Grandmother cooks SO much food. little mince pies with pumpkin soup to start off with, then two roasted chickens with onion gravy (she uses liquid chicken stock which is pretty mucch all fat) and cooked potatoes, pumpkin, sweet potatoes, yams and steamed vegetables. Then for dessert it's pavalova(like a giant meringue), ice creams, whipped cream and strawberries, and pekan pie. as well as this there are brandy snaps, fizzy drinks, brownies and an assortment of chips to snack on!

I do not know how I will surive.

Countdown

So, things are going well. I'm finally starting to feel in contorl of what I eat.
Today my father bought me a calorie filled cram bun. he left the house to get coffee. as i was about to put it in my mouth, i burst into tears. I couldn't stop crying for ages. I ended up throwing the bun in the bin.
i feel so bad.

introductions

Hi, I made this blog as a way to motivate myself to lose weight. Enjoy the thinspo