The Versatile Blogger

The Rules:

1) thank the person who loved you enough to bestow you this gift.

2)Share seven things about yourself

3)nominate this award to 10 bloggers you think are badass

4)let your badass bloggers now you love them

So first off thank you sooo much Skylar (http://www.skyisthelimitskylar.blogspot.com/). I love your blog so much and this literally made my day. i was gonna come on here and rant, but I'll dave that for another post because I can't be upset now. So yeah, you're amazing and badass!

seven things you may not know about me

1) I have a crush on my maths tutor. He is so hot, and he's british! aaah, I know right!

2) I once made a cake explode.

3) I enjoy drinking by myself mor than i do with others.

4) I really badly want a pair of creepers shoes. The majority think they're hideous, but I envy people who have them.

5) I do have a Tumblr (http://www.fatalfemmes.tumblr.com/)

6) I have a phobia of birds, and that somone i know will find this blog.

7) I wish I lived in either London and new York.

So now to pass on the award torch too....

1)Ell - http://www.ajourneytobones.blogspot.com/

2) Miss Alisha - http://www.wemovebyinstinct.blogspot.com/

3) J - http://www.locatingwonderland.blogspot.com/

4) http://www.vertesbrescervicales.blogspot.com/

5) Kathyrn - http://www.kaathryn-xo.blogspot.com/

6) http://www.privatepublicconfessional.blogspot.com/

7) Elara - http://www.thincapacitated.blogspot.com/

8) Meg - http://www.perfectlybyana.blogspot.com/

9) http://www.wheresmyothershoes.blogspot.com/

10) Astrid - http://www.starvingastrid.blogspot.com/

so, um, yeah. Thank you so much!

just Floating

Thank you so much for all your support. I was at a real low point when I wrote that, and afterwards i called my friend. She came over and we talked. It was lovely. I decided i just need to change myself. So I went tothe gym and worked myself real hard.

10 minutes on the treadmill

10 minutes on the bikes

20 minutes on the rowing machine

10 minutes on the thigh weights

10 minutes on the arm weights

15 minutes on the ab machine

10 minutes on the vibrating thing

I am so sore and it's amazing. It's the best i've felt in such a long time. I've also died my hair. It's now a darker brown with black ends. I'm happy with it. It makes me feel different, and slightly reckless. I haen't eaten at all today, and am going out later to meet up with a friend for coffee, which I'm looking forward too.

Thank you so much for posting your e-mails and offering wisdom on the topic. It's great to know that i can lean on you guys when I need someone to talk too.

I'm Unzipped

I'm so sorry. I feel like such a disappointment to you all. I say that i'll do all this exercise and eat less, but I don't. I want to, but the motivation I Had a couple of months ago is gone. i hate feeling like this, and you all make me want to really give it my all. Please help me, i could really use your support right now. My life is a bit shit at the moment, I won't bore you with the details, and i could really use a helping hand even if you're a thousand miles away.
I've never been one to ask for help, I'm more a suffer in silence type of person, but I realise i can't do this on my own anymore. I need someone, anyone to get me back on my feet. I'm broken, and exposed and no one is even looking.
please help

Getting back on the horse

So since I posted last I've gotten sick. It's not serious just a harsh cold. But the best part is, is that my throat is to sore to eat. I can't even have a bit of soup without a stinging sensation burst through my throat. it hurst, but I've dropped a couple of kgs over the past three days. About 3 according to the scales. So that leaves me at 44kg, but I have a new goal weight. I want to reach 42 by my birthday this September.

It's along time, but I want to do it right so that I'm perfect. This means I'm cutting out high dairy products, such as full cream milk, and cheese (i never really liked cheese in the first place). I'm also not going to eat any carbs, except for perhaps once a week as apparently they do have some good qualities. Instead of breakfast I shall have a coffee and green tea (this kick starts my metabolism, and prolongs any hungry groans from my stomach). Also I'm having soup instead of a solid lunch. Soup is suppose to keep you fuller for longer, and I have already stocked the cupboards of 99% fat free tomato minotrone soup (76 cal). Then for dinner I shall pile my plate high with vegies, and a small portion of meet. Plus teo glasses of water before dinner. But I am stuck for what to do exercise wise. I know that I should do a mix of cardio and weights, but i don't really know how to put a regime together. Please help? I want to focus on my stomach and inner thighs. Any comments would be greatly appreciated. I love hearing from you all!

Lost

oh Gosh, I am such a terrible blogger! I've been so busy with homewrok, and i'm still so behind!

This week has definately not been a good one.

First I discovered that I've gained back the weight i put off, all due to one weekend of complete binge eating and drinking and not exercising after. So I'm back to square one.

Plus, my friends noticed that i cut. I now have to see the counsellor once a week, and i hate it. I've let my parents down. I've done that too much.

I don't even really know why i cut, I guess it was because it was the one thing I could control.

But now I can't control anything! The worst part is, is that no one understands. Absolutely no one I know, knows what I am going through. Even though I'm getting help, I still feel so alone.

Oh well, from this week onwards I will get back in control of my eating. I ahve to have control over something in my life. Eating and school, that where I shall control. I shall be perfect in those areas.

Walking away

I give up. I give up on M. As much as I like him I can't lose any more sleep over this. I haven't slept in two days, not kidding. My ex and I haven't talked, and I run away from m whenever i see him at school. I can't handle this anymore. I'm breaking down. I just can't deal with the pain and paranoia I'm feeling all the time. Does he like me? no, he definately doesn't. Wow, he just smiled at me in the corridor he doefinately does. He high fived my ex, he cares more about their friendship than he does starting one with me. He remebers my name of course he wnats to start something with me. my ex didn't say hello to me this morning he knows something. It's too much. It's far too much to comprehend. i have to walk away from it all before I lose myself. On the plus side I have finally reached my goal weight! 44kg here I am! But i still want that gap in my thighs, so I am going to concentrate on my thighs from now on, while trying to keep the rest of me in check. Any tips on how to get great thighs?

Petrified

he kissed me! We kissed! M and I kissed! i can't believe it. it finally happened.

It was on Saturday. We were at a party, and both a bit drunk. But still sober enough to know what we were doing. I was alone in the kitchen looking for an apple (I hadn't eaten all day), when he came up behind me and grabbed my waist, causing me to drop the fruit bowl. We both leaned down to pick up the fruit, and made awkward drunk conversation. Then as I was standing there holding the fruit bowl, he leaned in and kissed me. It was sloppy, and not the best but it happened.

I ran off awkwardly, I couldn't stay there. I was scared of what would happen afterward. We haven't talked since, and I'm not sure if my ex knows or not. I'm too scared, absolutely petrified.

i haven't eaten since. Not really, only a bit of fruit here and there. When i get stressed or scared i don't eat. I don't know why, I just don't. i also scratch at my skin. I cut my nails, but they still cut my skin. Not enough to leed, but I get red marks the next day. What on Earth am i going to do?