hi, I'm Ella, Alex's friend. Alex is alive but is currently in hospital. October 22nd Alex decided to take her own life in her own home. She expected to be home alone the entire day as her parents and older brother were at work. She compiled a series of letters to her dearest loved ones, a few contained last minute wishes that she wanted done after she passed. I was one of them. I was given a list of passwords and log in names, and was instructed to "tell them I did love them." She then proceeded to swallow triple the dose of sleeping pills, and also slit her wrists vertically. She lay down in bed "so I can sleep forever." Her brother returned home early as he had been given the afternoon off, and discovered Alex unconscious in her bed. He thought she was sleeping until he saw the blood stained sheets. He called the ambulance and Alex was rushed to hospital, and was saved. She is expected to remain in hospital for two weeks, but wishes me to send you all her love and appreciation for commenting on her last post. She cried when I read her your amazing comments, and was amazed that "someone bothered to save me, someone actually tried."
Personally, I would like to thank you all so much for giving my friend the love and attention she deserves. It is great to see people willing to help others even if they do not know them personally and I am pleased that Alex has that. She says that she will try to personally post a thank you message as soon as she can.
Thank you xx
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Goodbye
I can't do it anymore. living has become such a daily struggle that I don't know how to continue. Every aspect of my life is a failure. I can't stay thin, I can't be the daughter my parents want me to be, I'm failing every subject at school (except maths for some unknown reason), I have virtually no friends, and the few that I do have no longer bother to reach out to me as I am such a burden. What's the point in it all? Society has fucked me over, as I knew it eventually would. I am no one's fault but my own, and I'm just erasing a mistake.
To my readers who have bothered to read my pointless rants, or even just viewed my blog to look at the pictures, thank you. You have made this 'life' worth living a wee bit. I enjoyed reading all of your blogs, and bless you for sharing your daily struggles. Please don't become a wreck like me. You are all beautiful, and will never be lovelier than you are now. Don't fade away, don't worry about the number on the scale, don't worry about the thoughts in that bimbo's head, don't over analyse the text he just sent you, don't let your friends slip away. Don't be societies victim. There is still a chance for you, so take it. I know this is all so cheesy, but in my last moments it seems to make sense. I'm trying to save someone else cause no one tried to save me.
I love you all for your flaws and strengths. Thank you.
I'll leave you with my favourite song, play it with me one last time.
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