Saturday, October 22, 2011

Goodbye

I can't do it anymore. living has become such a daily struggle that I don't know how to continue. Every aspect of my life is a failure. I can't stay thin, I can't be the daughter my parents want me to be, I'm failing every subject at school (except maths for some unknown reason), I have virtually no friends, and the few that I do have no longer bother to reach out to me as I am such a burden. What's the point in it all? Society has fucked me over, as I knew it eventually would. I am no one's fault but my own, and I'm just erasing a mistake.
To my readers who have bothered to read my pointless rants, or even just viewed my blog to look at the pictures, thank you. You have made this 'life' worth living a wee bit. I enjoyed reading all of your blogs, and bless you for sharing your daily struggles. Please don't become a wreck like me. You are all beautiful, and will never be lovelier than you are now. Don't fade away, don't worry about the number on the scale, don't worry about the thoughts in that bimbo's head, don't over analyse the text he just sent you, don't let your friends slip away. Don't be societies victim. There is still a chance for you, so take it. I know this is all so cheesy, but in my last moments it seems to make sense. I'm trying to save someone else cause no one tried to save me.
I love you all for your flaws and strengths. Thank you.
I'll leave you with my favourite song, play it with me one last time.
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15 comments:

  1. americaneagleloveOctober 22, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    NO PLEASE STOP, I might be wrong, but this post seems very suicidal! I want you to know that I love and care so much about you, even though we've never met. Choose life. Choosing life means choosing all the smiles, laughs, tears, love, and all the terrible things and all the good, all mixed together, but it's WORTH IT.

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  2. americaneagleloveOctober 22, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    I'm always always here with a ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. PLEASE don't commit suicide or do anything drastic.

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  3. americaneagleloveOctober 22, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    I would stay up all night, to make sure that you are safe. You are NOT failure, you are a beautiful human being, who brings joy and happiness to others, who brightens up the world one smile at a time. The world needs you, here, alive.

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  4. americaneagleloveOctober 22, 2011 at 9:02 PM

    Even if you think nobody cares, even if you think nobody loves you, you're wrong. I care, I love you, your friends care, they love you. And they always will, no matter what. I feel like I'm too late, but I'd do anything to save you.

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  5. JOctober 23, 2011 at 12:28 AM

    Alex I agree with everything americaneaglelove just said. You mIght think that there is nothing worth living for but please don't do anything stupid. I understand that you might be in a dark place but things will get better. I am always here if you need someone to talk to, if you're deleting this blog email me if you want<3
    Locatingwonderland@hotmail.co.uk
    Xx

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  6. missinsanity.October 23, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    alex, please take care of yourself. there are so many things you haven't experienced yet, things you won't experience if you give in now. it's horrible when you feel depressed and it seems like there's no way out, but if you wait long enough, something good will happen. something beautiful.

    please, please take care of yourself. you're loved, you're wanted, and you're cared for. <3

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  7. missOctober 23, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    Alex, please, please be strong. I have been reading your blog since forever and I have come to really care about you as a person. Please, do not hurt yourself, please. Comment me or post something to let me know you're ok. I know it seems like everything has gone to shit and life has lost most of its appeal to you, but have a little faith. Life can be so beautiful. Have faith in life. I did, and I love it now. Life is waiting for you. Explore it. Embrace it. Throw yourself out there and enjoy what it has to offer.

    Please be okay. I know you can find the strength somewhere inside you. I wish I could be there with you. I with I could give you some of my own strength. I wish I could be there to talk to you through all this. Gosh. I care about you so much. Please take care.
    xo

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  8. movesnmunchiesOctober 23, 2011 at 1:27 PM

    I dont read your blog and I only just found this from miss alisha.. but i have been where you are.. i know what its like. but i fought HARD.. i am recovered.. I am LOVING life .. i never thought I would be where i am right now when i was where u are right now. you CAN get back up from this. u do not want to do this. you do not want to throw a life away. please dont.

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  9. AnonymousOctober 23, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    i may have only discovered your blog tonight but i can already tell what i beautiful person you are. everyone here that has commented cares about you immensely, i know i don't really know you but i can tell you this, it gets better. things can only go up from here. you deserve all the happiness in the world, don't let society win. you need to talk to someone right away. anybody! a friend, someone you know through blogging, anyone! please please please, we care about you, please don't do this xo

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  10. Nadia October 23, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    No.

    I don't know who you are, I don't know what your favourite movie is, how many siblings you have, what your favourite season is or anything important about you. But I care for you. You don't know who I am, what my favourite subject is or whether I like or hate modern art.

    I know you're worth as much as anyone else, you are important to me because you are a living breathing human and you have thoughts, emotions, memories and dreams. I want to know you're safe, I want to know you're breathing. Don't do this you're worth so much, you're so valuable. Don't do this, you will give so much to the world by simply being you.

    Please stay safe.

    My thoughts and care xxx

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  11. AnonymousOctober 23, 2011 at 5:38 PM

    Please try and give life another chance. I know it's a lot to ask and you don't know me. But I care. I've been there. I know how fucking terrible it feels. I don't know what else to say... but try to stay safe and wait it out. Good luck deary *HUGS*

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  12. SarahOctober 23, 2011 at 5:43 PM

    Hello Alex. My name is Sarah. I don't know you.
    There is a person in the world thinking the exact same thoughts as you, going through the same problems.

    I hope you read this message. I hope you will talk to me one day. Your life affects mine today. We need you to live Alex, believe me.

    We don't know what comes after death darling, what you it doesn't END after death? What if there is something worse after? What if it was better living a little longer? Don't fear life Alex. Please understand, you can run away from this. You don't have to do anything, please anyone. You are only human Alex, you are feeling what humans feel.

    JUST STOP AND THINK ALEX. You need to finish this life that you have started. You need to be the wife one day, the mother for your child, the grandparent for your grandchildren. The role model to millions. You are needed. Your future needs you.

    Life is hard. It's unfair and cruel. You are needed Alex. Stay alive darling.

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  13. désespérée de maigrirOctober 23, 2011 at 6:13 PM

    You are beautiful and even in your darkest moments of despair, I hope that all of us telling you that will make it seem real. There are people who love you - you are not alone.

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  14. AdeliaOctober 24, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    I don't read your blog, and I don't know you, but you sound like a really beautiful woman, and I just wanted to tell you that I've fallen as far as you have before, and I've come back from it. You can too.
    There are so many people who will miss you, whether you realize that or not. If you just look and read through all of these comments, you will see that you have touched so many hearts and even though you may not know all of these people in person, you have made a difference in their lives. And I am sure there are so many more whom you have touched and who will be greatly affected by you no longer being with them.
    Please. You are beautiful, you are perfect, you are loved, you are looked up to, you are needed. YOU ARE STRONG.
    You will get through this, darling. I promise. I have, and countless other have. This is just a bump in the road, and if you can get through this, you will be able to get through anything.
    I may not know you, but I love you. All of these ladies love you. So please, don't give up.

    Stay strong. I know you can do it.

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  15. JldicksoOctober 30, 2011 at 2:19 PM

    Please Alex, stay strong. The dark times seem to stay with us longer than the good times, but it is worth it to hold on. YOU are worth it to hold on. I can't promise that tomorrow will be better, and I can't even promise that a year from now things will be perfect; but please believe us when we tell you that you mean something to us.
    I wish it were easier to meet people who care for each other, but you can be that person who offers a hand to someone in a bad time or even in a good time. I believe all people were wonderfully made and everyone's actions influences someone around you. I will pray for you and hope that you will see mercy and love in a way that was intended for each person to experience, because we are never put through trials that we can not bear. I love you Alex.
    Jessica
    Contact me if you want to. jldickso@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

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