Friday, February 11, 2011

Clawing at myself

I didn't think I'd stoop this low. i never meant to get to this. I just want to be thin. Last night I cut myself. On purpose. I did it because i ate that cream bun. it was a pathetic cut, it barely bled, but what scares me is that i wanted to hurt myself. I was disappointed when it didn't bleed enough. What's worse? I want to try again. I'm not depressed. I cry more often, and i can't stand being around anyone but I swear i'm not depressed. Now I have another thing to hide from everyone. Another thing that'll tear me apart is just what I need right now.
I'm losing it, I really am. i can't take anything anymore. i want to get out of here. Go some place new, and start a fresh. But I can't so I have to escape in other ways. other ways that aren't good for me either. When did it get this fucking bad?

1 comment:

  1. Oh, no! Don't cut yourself! Darling, find other ways to channel your pain. I used to cut, then I started starving myself.
    I know things are tough now. I get that a lot. But this will pass. Soon, you'll be back on track. Trust me.
    Stay strong.