Tuesday, February 15, 2011


he kissed me! We kissed! M and I kissed! i can't believe it. it finally happened.
It was on Saturday. We were at a party, and both a bit drunk. But still sober enough to know what we were doing. I was alone in the kitchen looking for an apple (I hadn't eaten all day), when he came up behind me and grabbed my waist, causing me to drop the fruit bowl. We both leaned down to pick up the fruit, and made awkward drunk conversation. Then as I was standing there holding the fruit bowl, he leaned in and kissed me. It was sloppy, and not the best but it happened.

I ran off awkwardly, I couldn't stay there. I was scared of what would happen afterward. We haven't talked since, and I'm not sure if my ex knows or not. I'm too scared, absolutely petrified.
i haven't eaten since. Not really, only a bit of fruit here and there. When i get stressed or scared i don't eat. I don't know why, I just don't. i also scratch at my skin. I cut my nails, but they still cut my skin. Not enough to leed, but I get red marks the next day. What on Earth am i going to do?

1 comment:

  1. You don't owe your ex anything. It was a drunken kiss. You can press forward or move along very easily.

    But it finally happened for you! Try to allow yourself to appreciate the moment in between bouts of anxiety.