I've been sitting here for a while trying to think of how to perfectly say Thank You to all of you who tried to help me in what was most definitely 'my darkest hour'. But that's the thing, I can't form the perfect sentences for a perfect thank you. I've been told so much over the past two weeks that "perfection is an illusion" and "Perfect does not exist." I'm so lost as too what is perfect anymore. I thought I had it in my head, I was convinced perfect was the way I saw it. But turns out it's not. What I thought was perfect is apparently 'disgusting, and 'sickening' to everyone else.
But that's not the point of this post. the point of this post is to thank everyone of you that tried for me and who showed that you cared for me 'that night'.
americaneaglelove - Your four posts were so kind and generous. I appreciate that you were willing to stay up ALL night for me, and your posts made me smile for the first time since I 'tried'. Your post on you blog letting everyone of your readers know that they are beautiful people is gorgeous and makes me realise that I should do this more often. You have a stunning way of writing and i hope that you pursue a career in it one day.
Di-anna - I greatly appreciate your willingness to talk to me personally, and I take that straight to heart. You are so sweet and lovely and wonderful, and for some reason remind me of a White Rabbit (positive). Please know that you are not a bad person and don't be afraid to fall in love. It could be the best thing that every happened to you, and you WILL grow from it.
missinsanity. - I've had many experiences, and perhaps one day I can share them with you. I am sad to hear of your lack of sleep, blue nails and vicious cycles. i know you can overcome this and i am here for you, just like you were there for me.
alisha - You're comment released the tears that had been brimming in my eyes. I care for you on a personal level too. I've read through every post on your blog, and actually consider you a friend. Words can not describe how much I appreciated you reaching out to your own readers to make sure I was okay. It's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done. I am still weak, but I have found a little strength (it' probably the piece you gave me). i admire you're courage to move on from M and I hope someday i can have that kind of courage too.
movesnmunchies - I appreciate your honesty in telling me that you don't read my blog. That's okay, the fact that you were willing to help someone you didn't even know existed is a tremendous thing, and you should be proud of this. I do not know of your previous situation, but it is inspiring to know that someone can come from where I am and be a better person because of it.
ivy - I may not you that well either, but the fact that you comforted me is a positive in my book. Who know perhaps we will know each other better in the future? You seem like a lovely girl and i am quite envious of your blog as it is so visually beautiful.
Thrills - i loved you're almost brutal comment. It was a wake up call and I appreciate it. i love how down to earth you are, and that you write with a kind of comedic style. It stands out in a positive way. I'm kinda addicted to your blog now ha ha.
lilulak - *HUGS* you're post was the sweetest thing, and you remind me of my friend who had been through the same thing. Lindsey? If this is you, thanks. If not, I really do think you should begin blogging again. I've been through the majority of your posts, and need some more to read!
Sarah - I hope me affecting you wasn't a burden, but you did affect my day in a positive way. you made me stop and think. You got em to realise that I didn't know that death was any better than life, and that's why I should fear it, at least until I can be friends with it. That's the thing, I thought I was friend with death. I thought I was ready to meet it liking seeing long lost friend. But I was wrong, and I thank you for showing me the truth. I have always wanted kids, and sometimes think of who they'd be. I know realise I need to be there to show my children all the light in the world.
désespérée de maigrir - First off I love your name. i don't know any French beyond 'oui' despite studying it for two years, so i had to put it into google translate. thank you, I know there must be tons of people who love you and you must have boys dropping at your feet.
Adelia - believe me I am not strong in all senses of the word. but I've been told that behind every strong figure is a humble one who is ready to comfort them when they fall. I'm the humble one, which I guess makes you the strong one.
Jldickso - You're right, the dark times are the longest. But it's the light ones that make life worth living. I can't imagine everything being perfect in a year, but hopefully in a couple or so. Thank you for praying for me, and i promise that it will not go to waste. You have a beautiful outlook on life, I think I'm beginning to see it. Thank you for leaving contact details, and opening your doors to me, it means the world.
I think this post is long enough, so I'll leave it for now and catch you up on the details next time. I love you all, and am ecstatic to have such beautiful people as readers!